Strong Not Thin
Strength, Substance, & the Truth About the Scale: Why We’re Over "Thin"
Let’s have a real, coffee-on-the-couch kind of talk. If you’re a woman over 40, you’ve probably spent the better part of three decades hearing the same message: Smaller is better. We’ve been conditioned to chase "thin" like it’s the ultimate trophy, as if hitting a certain size on a tag is the magic key to happiness.
But here’s what I’ve realized, and what I want to share with you: I don’t care if you’re thin. I really don’t. What I care about—what actually matters for the next forty years of your life—is if you are healthy.
There is a massive difference between "thin for thin’s sake" and being at a healthy weight that supports a long, active life. It’s time we stopped talking about "skinny" and started talking about vitality.
The Weight Loss Conversation We Should Be Having
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that weight doesn't matter at all. That wouldn't be honest. Carrying excess weight, especially as our hormones shift in our 40s, 50s and 60s can put a real strain on our joints, our hearts, and our metabolic health.
But here is the distinction: We aren't losing weight to fit a social mold; we’re losing weight to meet a health goal.
If your doctor says your visceral fat is putting you at risk for diabetes, or if your knees are screaming every time you walk up the stairs, then yes, losing some weight is a smart, loving choice for your body. But we aren't doing it to fit into "skinny jeans" or to look like a filtered influencer. We’re doing it so you can hike that trail, play with your grandkids, and wake up without chronic inflammation making you feel twenty years older than you are.
The Balance: Loving Your Body While Improving It
There’s this idea that you either have to "love your body exactly as it is" or "hate it enough to change it." I think both of those options are exhausting.
The sweet spot is Body Stewardship. It means loving your body enough to give it what it needs to function at its best. If your body is carrying extra weight that makes it hard to move or puts your health at risk, the most "body positive" thing you can do is help it get to a lighter, stronger place. This isn't about punishment; it’s about maintenance. You wouldn't let your car run on empty or skip an oil change and call it "loving the car." You take care of it so it lasts. Your body is the only home you’ll ever have.
Strength is the Secret Weapon
When I help women over 40, we don't just focus on the scale. In fact, if we only look at the scale, we’re missing the biggest piece of the puzzle: Strength.
As we age, we naturally lose muscle mass (thanks, biology). If you just "diet" to get thin, you often lose muscle right along with the fat, leaving you "skinny-fat"—weak, tired, and with a sluggish metabolism.
But when you focus on getting strong and healthy, the weight loss that follows is different. It’s functional. When you build muscle, you’re stoking your metabolic fire. You’re protecting your bones. You’re giving yourself the physical "armor" you need to navigate the world.
It’s Not About the "Gram," It’s About Your Life
The fitness industry loves to show you women in skimpy outfits taking mirror selfies to show off a six-pack or a "perfect" booty. If that’s someone’s hobby, more power to them. But for the rest of us? That’s not the point.
This isn't a performance. It’s not about how you look in a bikini. It’s about how you feel when you’re living your life.
It’s about having the energy to get through a workday without a 3 PM crash.
It’s about being at a weight where your blood pressure and cholesterol are in the green zone.
It’s about feeling capable, solid, and resilient.
If you reach your health goals and you’re a size 12 instead of a size 2, but your blood work is perfect and you can lift a 40-pound bag of mulch without throwing out your back? That is a win.
Being the Best Version of You
The goal is simple: I want you to be the best version of yourself. Not a carbon copy of a celebrity, and not the 110-pound version of yourself from high school.
We are aiming for a strong, healthy body that allows you to show up for your life with confidence. If that involves losing weight, let’s do it with the intention of adding years to your life and life to your years. Let’s do it so you can feel good.
Let’s stop apologizing for our bodies and start investing in them. Let’s trade the obsession with "thin" for a commitment to "strong." Because at the end of the day, a healthy weight isn't a destination—it’s the foundation for everything else you want to do.
